Holding back
Somedays I feel like I will make a terrible attorney. My problem today? Crying.
Crying for me is an automatic reflex at times. It happens when I am overwhelmed, stressed, or upset. Today, while I was on break at a conference, I got an email from someone for whom I have written and re-written a memo. The email said the document still needed "significant revisions," and the notes on the document just made me feel dumb. (e.g. Did you proofread this sentence?, or what do you mean?) And instead of appreciating the mostly constructive criticism, I cried. And when I went back into the conference and a friend asked how I was, I started crying again. I wasn't that upset, but I couldn't stop it. I'm not entirely sure what to do about this in the workplace. What if I cry in front of a partner, despite my best intentions? It's such a silly, unproductive reaction... but sometimes, I feel like I can't help it.
And what kind of attorney cries?
posted by Stephanie @ 10:31 PM
7 Comments:
you are a strong person Stephanie, don't forget that. You are a great person and a good attorney, believe in yourself.
Having had (and still having) a number of female employees I recognize that the crying reaction is a natural one for many, if not most, women. I always make it a point to assure them that crying does not indicate a sign of weakness to me, just that their nerves are a little closer to their tear ducts than mine...which is different, not wrong, than we males... D
Thanks, Bill and D. I appreciate both of your comments. It's nice to have that encouragement (and D, I think I've even heard you say that before!).
Yes, I believe I have mentioned it once or twice!
The other thing is...at some point the things that stress you today will not stress you anymore and you won't cry over them.
There is a school of thought that says colds are viruses, and that there are hundreds of them, so every time you get one it inoculates you against future colds of the same strain. That's why I celebrate every cold. You'll feel that way about these learning experiences-uncomfortable, but every one toughens your system...D
Hey that sounds tough. I don't think crying makes you weak it is just a different release valve. Instead of punching a wall, or being passive aggressive you let it out. Once you let it out you can pull yourself together and move forward. I'm sorry this is all so stressful, but you are learning new stuff all the time. Give yourself time to adjust!
Aw, don't worry about it. Health law definitely has one of the steepest learning curves of all bc what we do is so dependent on figuring out regs, rather than common sense (much of the time). It will take time, but you'll eventually get the hang of things and start feeling awesome once you start figuring stuff out. Hang in there and if you have any substantive questions, feel free to email me and I'll give you as much help as I can (or at least try to point you in the right direction). :)
xoxo
mer
Steph - if it makes you feel any better, I am not really a crier, and I definitely cried in front of an attending (hospital equivalent of a partner) this year. But I survived and I don't think too many people are talking behind my back ;) Hope you and Matt had a great Christmas! I also love the unnecessary quotes blog :)
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